Today, America goes to the polls. Whoever wins, we will not be ruled by a tyrannical despot. Whoever wins, we will not die by the millions of starvation. Whoever wins, there will not be widespread violence, or a civil war. Democracy is a huge advance over previous systems - it is very good at minimizing bloodshed.
From The Onion comes a Report: 60 Million People You'd Never Talk To Voting For Other Guy:
BOSTON—According to an eye-opening report released Tuesday, 60 million people whom you would never talk to, would never be in a position to talk to, and wouldn't even be able to talk to if you tried will be voting for the other candidate in this year's presidential election, and there is nothing you can do about it.